mooch
Farewell Mooch. We hardly knew ye.

After a super short stint, the Mooch is out. According to reports, 45 has ousted White House Communications director Anthony Scaramucci after he offered up a verbally scathing and profanity-laced assault on senior members of Trump’s cabinet. The move came only mere days after Reince Priebus was removed as Chief of Staff and a little more than a week after White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer bid us all bon voyage.

From start to finish, the Mooch probably had one of the shortest tenures in any administration. What’s worse for him, though? The fact that his time in the White House was so much shorter than a bunch of other common things that occur everyday. Here’s a list of 20 things that lasted longer than Scaramucci’s career in the White House:

1. The amount of time it takes me to match a pair of funky socks with an outfit (Hashtag, Sock Ministry President).

2. The time I had chicken pox as a kid.

3. The average life cycle on Game of Thrones.

4. The time it takes a character to power up on Dragonball Z.

5. The set up time for my CPAP machine.

6. The Pokemon Go craze.

7. The lifespan of a housefly (like, seriously.)

8. The time needed to organize a party of 8 at Olive Garden. Trust me. I know these things.

9. Morning service at my church.

10. Flossing.

11. The opening musical sequence in “Papa Was a Rolling Stone.”

12. The average number of days one of my blog posts stay in the “Draft” folder.

13. My former boss’ staff meetings.

14. Modem dialup connection speed with AOL CD’s.

15. The Hobbit Triology (OK wife. I’ll admit: it was quite bad).

16. My membership with Columbia House.

17. The time it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.

18. Eddie Murphy’s music career.

19. My phone’s battery life.

20. Hulu’s trial period.

Later, Mooch. It was great watching your career unfold. Until, of course, my popcorn was done cooking.

–  ACL

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