The Unsinkable Donald Trump

Where’s a good iceberg when you need one?

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times: Donald Trump can’t be stopped.

With each passing day, Trump makes headlines by engaging in activities that would each be impeachable offenses if it were any other candidate. First, he abruptly fired FBI director James Comey, all while Comey was leading an investigation into possible collusion between Trump and Russia on election hacking (possible obstruction of justice). A day later, he went on national television with Lester Holt and admitted that Comey’s investigation played a part in his firing. The day after that,  Trump tweeted that Comey should hope there were no tapes of their White House conversations (an act viewed by many as witness intimidation). Just when you thought the week had enough of Trump’s scandals, the Washington Post reported that Trump leaked classified, codename-level intelligence to the Russians. As icing on the proverbial cake goes, it now looks like Comey actually recorded Trump telling him to lay off the Flynn investigation.

By all measures, Trump should be doing a perp walk right now.

But even as Donald Trump moves from one scandal to another, I have conceded to the mind-blowing reality that as long as Republican lawmakers support him, he is – and will continue to be – impervious to political blowback from even the most reckless of behavior.

Like it or not, Trump has the leverage of both chambers of Congress and the Supreme Court, the branches of government to whom he is constitutionally required to answer. Democrats can make noise, kick up the occasional dirt, and propose a bill or two to reign in Trump’s behavior (of particular interest is Rep. Ted Lieu’s appropriately-named SWAMP act, which would force Trump to reimburse the government for his costly business trips). Maybe at some point, their methods will be executed effectively enough to drum up necessary support in time for the mid-term elections. But the foreseeable future belongs to Trump and the Republicans afraid to oppose him.

What makes Trump unbeatable is the unconditional, fanatical, and quite illogical support he continues to receive from his base. That base, not strong enough to win an popular vote outright, but potent enough to win individual districts, is who Republican lawmakers fear they would lose if they broke ranks with Trump. And, of course, they also hold on to the hope that staying loyal to Trump will translate into direct benefits for them (earmarks, for example). Far too many of them are putting their own ambitions ahead of the country and those they represent. They appear willing to sacrifice the nation’s integrity and standing in the world in order to save Trump.

In short, rather than jumping from a sinking ship, too many members of the GOP are purposely and cowardly serving as a flotation device for Trump.

It’s for that very reason why I think the comparisons to Trump and Nixon are off-base. Yes, they both committed impeachable offenses. But the significant difference between the two rests in the congressional support Nixon didn’t have, which Trump currently enjoys. By the last year of his presidential term, Nixon was squaring off against a Congress controlled by the opposing party. Trump, on the other hand has Congress on his side and, therefore, none of the meaningful checks and balances a president should have. If there is anything he can take away from the past week of scandal, it’s that he can do whatever he wants, without consequence. This isn’t the first time he’s made that observation:

As citizens, our anger over all the outrageous antics of this president is moot unless and until the folks on Capitol Hill stand up to him. But as long as his side is in charge and only operate (or fail to operate) out of concern over their political careers, we shouldn’t expect him to change his behavior anytime soon.

Narcissists seldom do.

-ACL

Why Spy Microwaves Should Be the LEAST of Your Concerns

Spies are lurking all around your house.

In an interview this week, White House advisor and resident spin-master Kellyanne Conway claimed that microwaves, yep, these joints, can be used as surveillance tools; a remark that came off the heels of an alleged wiretapping of President Trump by President Obama. As expected, her remarks immediately captured the attention of the news media and the nation at large. The onslaught was fierce.

Since being eviscerated in the news and all over social media, Conway has since ‘clarified’ her remarks, by speaking generally about the nature of high-tech surveillance and not about specific accusations toward Obama. However, the intrepid host of this blog thinks you all have been a little rough on Lady KaC (what? We go back a ways. I’m entitled to give her a nickname). While the microwave example was a bit off, she’s got every right to be legitimately concerned about everyday household appliances and gadgets spying on us. Why? Because they are. Trust me: by the time I’m done, I promise that you won’t trust all the goings on in your home the same way again.

Here are a list of items that are absolutely, probably, definitely, maybe spying on us at this very moment:

The stove: Um, yeah. If an appliance has the ability to clean itself, it stands to reason it can also cover its tracks pretty well without you ever detecting its activity. You think that’s grime and food residue being cleaned? Negative. That doggone stove is cleaning out its cache.

The NutriNinja™: I mean, it’s right in the name. When it comes to promoting its own healthy agenda, not only does this whirling dervish of an appliance extract the hell out of some nutrients, but it’s stealthy as as outdoors. I swear that NutriNinja™ secretly added kale to my smoothie the other day. I mean, who would eat that mess otherwise? Sneaky little bastard.

Your KitchenAid™ Mixer: Not only does this mixer work a little too well,  it has also shown no compunction about getting political. Remember when The KitchenAid™ “jokingly” tweeted about the death of Obama’s grandmother? Bad taste, no doubt. But lost in the conversation was the fact that a mixer was tweeting in the first place. Think about that for a second. A machine, a mixer no less, was following the election and tweeting about it. If you think it was just some social media handler straight out of college writing that tweet, you’re wrong. That’s exactly what it wants you to think. But the truth is out there. It did the tweeting, NOT some low level company intern. So if a machine is out there trolling people on Twitter, then – comparatively speaking – spying on you is a piece of cake. Cake, ironically enough, probably made by your KitchenAid.

The refrigerator: Think about it. Contrary to popular belief, the light inside the fridge is not there to help you see when you’re grabbing a late-night snack. No, sir. That light is there to illuminate the subject and make them more visible on camera. Putting night vision technology next to the eggs would’ve been a little too obvious. Well played, CIA. Well played.

Blu-Ray players: How many of you knew that the “Blu” in Blu-Ray stood for “Biometric Listening Unit?” None of you. That’s who.

Netflix: Of all the diabolical spies in your house, Netflix is the worst. It disguises itself as a low-cost streaming media service with amazing movies and TV shows. But, in reality, it’s a privacy-invading, information-stealing monster. I mean, each time I finish watching a great movie or TV show, it suggests some other title I’d like based on the programming I’ve been watching. Somehow, it’s been correct every. single. time. Some might say that Netflix has some kind of predictive algorithm built in that can anticipate what shows/movies I might like. But there’s no way in hell it could’ve predicted how much I’d love Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt just because I watched House of Cards. They ain’t nowhere near related. The only way Netflix would’ve known that was by spying on me that one time I said to my wife “You know, that Kimmy show looks kinda good”, as we were watching Frank kill Zoe (oh yeah, spoiler alert).

There you have it. This is but a small sample of the things in your household spying on you. Don’t believe all you want. But if I were you, I’d watch what you say around your toaster. You never know who’s listening.

– ACL

How To Parent in Trump’s America

If you’re anything like me, you’re raising young children who have only known a world with Barack Obama as president. So naturally, having an obnoxious brat who acts a hair less mature than they do is gonna take a bit of getting used to. Well, here at the Unmitigated Word, I have committed myself to helping people as much as possible. I love you all and only want the best for our future generations. That said, I’ve put together a few tips you can following for parenting in Trump’s America:

• While it’s important to hear what’s on your child’s mind, avoid the temptation of starting your line of questioning with “So, tell me: what the f*** do you think happened?”
• Explain to them how it is never – and stress the word “never” – OK to invite Toby Keith to perform anywhere, especially at a party in your honor.
• Assure them that none of this is their fault. Unless they’re the type of person who support vain, narcissistic, petty, sociopathic, misogynistic bigots for President of the United States. Then it probably is their fault.
• Explain to them the dangerous of alcohol. But if they need a little something to help them sleep at night during the next four years, the Jack Daniels is stored in the kitchen, the third cabinet to the right of the stove. If they’ve hit the spice drawer, they’ve gone too far.
• If they ask why Melania Trump is always looking sad, remind them that marrying for money is never a good idea. Unless, of course, you also know a great divorce lawyer.
• Remind them that Trump’s election is not the end of the world. At least not today, it isn’t.
• Remind them that no matter what, you’ll always be there to keep them safe. **Note: this may not necessarily apply to black men wearing hoodies or selling CDs, black women who get pulled over for mundane traffic violations, Muslims, or Mexicans seeking citizenship. In that case, your days in the states are probably numbered.**
• The “United We Stand” catchphrase is cute for bumper stickers, but is only really true immediately after a national tragedy. After that, our collective unity has an expiration date of about 10-15 minutes.
• If asked about the Electoral College, say “I don’t know sweetie. Sometimes, we Americans like nonsensical, outdated things which have worn out their welcome. Like Duck Dynasty, Velcro shoes, and the McRib.”
• Assure them that the government is not coming for them like they are for Muslims. But also tell them it’s not a bad idea to have a small bag packed, just in case.
• If you’re ever caught in a lie, just tell them you’re presenting alternative facts.

“Teach them well, and let them lead the way.” – Randy Watson, by way of the late, great Whitney Houston.

-ACL

Trump Vs. Islam: The Lose-Lose Situation

Donald Trump is nothing, if not consistent.

In just a few short days since being sworn in as President, Trump has already cashed in one of his campaign promises by issuing a ban on refugees and citizens from a number of Muslim countries. This move is sending shockwaves all across the world right now, and could possibly have far-reaching diplomatic implications all throughout the Muslim world and the world at large. Even though Trump softened his language a bit since being on the campaign trail, his provocative actions have nonetheless sent a clear message: America sees Islam as a threat that needs to be dealt with.

This is a frightening, and potentially deadly message. But it’s hardly the only ripple in the pond. In France for instance, law enforcement officials forcefully made a Muslim woman on a beach remove her clothing as part of a ban on burka-like swimsuits. Hate speech against Muslims increased heavily in Britain after the country voted to leave the EU this summer. Even here in the states, there have been numerous reports of harassment since Trump’s election. But this ban creates a state-sponsored act of discrimination that far more alarming than any isolated acts.

On the one, I understand it. These moves aren’t based on some imaginary or irrational paranoia. There truly is an object to the fear people are experiencing. Unfortunately for our Muslim brothers and sisters, a handful of extreme fanatics have created a widening association with of all Muslims (ironically though, the same people supporting Trump’s ban out of fear conveniently forget about all the non-Muslim terrorists we’ve fallen victim to lately. The Sandy Hook shooter wasn’t some brotha named Mohammed. But I digress). In a discriminatory world, all it takes is a lone fanatic to create an environment of fear and paranoia. The minute a handful of Samsung’s devices started blowing up on folk, millions of them were recalled. Even Trump Jr’s now-infamous Skittles analogy made sense, in a manner of speaking. Many people in that same scenario would reject and entire batch of something, even if are only a handful of those items were defective. So in that respect, I don’t fault the president’s decisions. In it’s truest sense, his actions are an embodiment of the ‘bad apple’ mentality.

On the opposite end, Trump’s executive decision could create much larger and unintended consequences. First, it’s VERY possible that this ban will compromise and ultimately destroy relationships we’ve had with other nations – many of whom are Muslim are partners in fighting terrorism. For years, we’ve been an exemplar of morality; creating a model for peace and inclusion for countries around the world to follow. But this ban jeopardizes our standing in the world in that respect. But even more frightening, this kind of action is exactly what the enemy wants. Generally speaking, the purpose of terrorism is to promote terror. But by-products of this pervertedly-religious terrorism are (1) justification of extremists’ contempt for the West and (2) “recruitaments” for others to join their cause (no, President Bush, I haven’t forgotten that you once used made up that word).

Kidding about Dubya aside, there are only two outcomes that can come of out Trump’s ban:

(1) There is an actual and quantifiable reduction of terrorist activities on US soil (as if that’s really an issue). For a man as narcissistic as Trump, this would be the only evidence he would need to prove that he was right, it’s proven that his actions were not directly correlated. Not only that, it will likely cause him to go a step further and be even more aggressive with his policymaking. Worse yet, as I mentioned earlier, even if terrorism is decreased, it could possibly come at the expense of destroying long-stading ties we’ve had with our friends.

(2) There is an increase of terrorist activity in our country as a direct result of this blatant and broad attack on Islam. Sure, we could collectively watch Trump’s policy fall on its head – doing nothing to truly keep us safe – but it would most likely be putting American lives at stake. The enemy is resilient, deadly, and determined. No ban on Earth can stop an enemy devoted enough to his cause for destruction.

Either way, this is a lose-lose situation for America.

-ACL

Why Trump Can’t Be Stopped. At Least For Now.

Face it, America. You had your opportunity and you blew it. There’s no stopping Donald Trump now.

Yes, Donald Trump is a petulant child who uses his platform to attack people who disagree with him. Yes, he lacks any hint of tact and social grace. Yes, he is – at worst – woefully unqualified to lead this nation and – at best – not even remotely interested. Yes, his is more likely to go rogue and set his own agenda as President. But like it or, this man is here to stay and won’t change to align himself with the demeanor of the other 44 presidents in our nation’s history. The reason can be surmised by two simple words:

“He won.”

Pay attention to literally every interview with Kellyanne Conway. Listen to his own remarks during his first press conference. Read what many of his followers are saying about him on social media. At that point, it will all become crystal clear: the fact that he won the election has and will continue to provide a shield for just about anything this man could ever say or do. To Trump, winning this election represented the ultimate exemption. He was crowned with the “people’s” trust despite every – forgive the expression – “deplorable” thing he said and did leading up to election day. By his own (joking?) admission, he could probably shoot somebody in the middle of 5th Avenue without dealing with any political consequences. He’s moving on his promise to build a wall, potentially creating strain between us and Mexico, he’s violated unspoken good business practice by stiffing contractors and his own employees alike, settled out of court after defrauding thousands of students with a fake university, ripped off shareholders who put their trust in him, encouraged violence at his rallies, has engaged in horrendously inappropriate and demeaning activities with women, has boastfully avoided paying taxes, and has repeatedly used Twitter to disseminate false information in attacks on dozens of people ranging from President Obama to Ted Cruz. To top it off, last week he delivered arguably one of the most divisive inauguration speeches in U.S. history. What most of us would view as unhinged behavior – un-presidential antics we would normally frown upon – actually wind up helping him. Not only did his actions not lead to his demise, many would argue it’s the very thing that helped him ascend. I have my own theories about why Trump won (because liberals hand delivered the win), but I’d be foolish to discount the role his raw, unrefined, and shady character played in his win. How could we not factor that in? His self-centered, behavior is sort of, well, American.

In the eyes of many people, Donald J. Trump simply can do no wrong.

What makes matters even worse is that our last line of defense is sadly, the good folks in Congress. They’re the only people Trump has to answer to at this point. But I frankly don’t see many GOP lawmakers breaking ranks with him on too many issues at the risk of losing political capital with their own constituents. To them, the political risk of dueling against Trump far exceed any potential consequences of being dragged into mess created by the Trump administration; mess which may or may not be significant to turn off his supporters. Equally, the GOP seems to have collectively concluded that destroying any remnants of the Obama administration is far more important than preventing any wholesale corruption from taking place in the Trump administration. In their minds, the bigger bogey man is the guy leaving, not the guy taking his place.

There’s something about winning that creates a certain sense of invincibility for the winner, especially in the political realm. The winner parenthetically qualifies their win as an endorsement by “the people” to do whatever it is they see fit to make this country run (which is why Donald Trump is so obsessed with the popular vote. Losing the popular vote represents the fact that he’s more hated than loved, more opposed than supported). So as long as he can ride the victory wave, count on Trump doing whatever he wants like an unchecked king. Oh, and having a well of executive orders at your disposal doesn’t hurt.

The only way to stop Trump at this point is with the mid-term elections. If there is a serious swing in Congressional power, a Democratic-controlled House and Senate can provide the checks and balances needed to curb Trump’s petty and child-like governance. However, gerrymandering, aggressive strategies to make voting more difficult, and voter apathy will probably keep that from happening. In short people, buckle up. This is going to be a long, frustrating, and unstoppable ride. Trump is the driver. Nobody is left to stop him from running us all off the cliff.

Egh.

-ACL