In this very heated political climate, I’ve been hearing people use buzz terms like “Restoring America”, “Getting back to the America [we] know”, “Reclaiming the country”, etc. Perhaps my favorite is “Taking America Back.” This one has been predominant in relationship to President Obama and the rest of us who have somehow stole this land from…I’m not sure who. Well, since I’m pretty much the smartest person I know, I have a great way to accommodate that request. And it’s totally doable:

Step 1: Round up every progressive and conservative with a least a shred of common sense (i.e. zero Tea Partiers) living in the south.

Step 2: Move them somewhere not in the South.

Step 3: Leave the remaining bat**** crazy people in Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Arizona, and New Mexico. For good measure, most of the loons in northern and midwestern red states should be sent down south as well. You know, the Michele Bachmanns and such.

Step 4: Pass a bill allowing those states to secede from the rest of the country.

Step 5 (Optional, but highly recommended): Reintroduce the discussion of building a fence to keep the crazies out.

Problem solved.