NFL player Albert Haynesworth was recently slapped with a misdeamenor charge of sexual abuse, for allegedly sliding a credit card into a waitress’s bra and touching her inappropriately at a party. His defense to these charges was…get ready for this…he couldn’t possibly be guilty because he “…doesn’t even like black girls.” I had to do a double take the first time I read that mess.
First I should point out that I’m very sympathetic to people as it relates to them defending themselves against accusations of this nature. As I’ve argued countless times before, we live in a society that immediately shifts the burden to the defendant, especially when it comes to the question of sex and gender. The alleged victim’s word is usually taken at face value (more predominately, I would argue, when it involves a female victim and a male assailant) and it becomes almost criminal to make any attempts at deconstructing the victim and their account of the story. The victim is usually untouchable.
But this situation is wholly different.
The ‘I don’t even like black girls’ argument is pretty silly in terms of a defense strategy, true. But I’ll leave it up to the courts to ultimately decide on its effectiveness. I WILL note however, that Haynesworth is guilty on at least one front: publicly unleashing his disdain for black women, even if it’s only within the context of using it as shield against the accusations he’s facing.
To me, there is something extremely self-hating about a black man lashing out against black women. But I’m not surprised by this in the least. Over the past few years, this has become a widespread phenomenon in the black community. People like Haynesworth have increasingly found it acceptable to smear black women, particularly as a means to justify their choice to exclusively be with non-black women. Certain stereotypical personality traits (being loud, overly aggressive, culturally unrefined, etc.) have been applied to all black women, giving brothas an excuse to kick them to the curb. This is most evident with brothas in sports and entertainment, but only because they have the spotlight shined on them. But indeed, this behavior is model by brothas in all social classes. Occasionally, anti-black woman sentiments even cut across racial lines, with white guys joining in the assault.
It is important to note that I’m ALL FOR a person’s right to choose whom they date and marry. To put it another way, I don’t believe people HAVE TO stay solely within their own race. But the practice of exclusion has historically been a bad look, whether it’s an employer who only hires certain candidates based on race, schools that only admit certain people based on race, or – in this case – when a person only dates/marries a person based on race. Discrimination is discrimination. Period. To another point, I also freely accept the notion that people will occassionally fetishize certain physical properties. The porn industry, for example, capitalizes on all types of preferences defined by its customers. These preferences include hair color, body type, and – yes – skin color.
But what I also find odd about people who place such cursory limitations on those they date, is that they make it seem as if attributes they’re looking for beyond the physical only exist with that one group they prefer. For instance, a brotha like Haynesworth could claim he doesn’t date black women because they’re not smart, have a tendency to be jealous, and are unsophisticated; only to date a white woman who has those same traits. People like Haynesworth (at least according to how he phrased it) would thoughtlessly pass over a quality-laden women just because of their skin color. How ignorant is that nonsense?!
Back in 2006 Haynesworth made sports headline across the country when he purposely and viciously stomped on the head of another player during a game. After the incident, he released a statement saying:
I apologize to Andre. What I did was disgusting. It’s something that should never happen. I mean, I’m not a dirty player. I don’t play dirty. I have respect for the game. What I feel like is I disgraced the game, disgraced my team and disgraced my last name.
Well Albert, it looks like you’ve done it again. You may not have stomped on another player’s head with football cleats, but you did do something just as “disgusting.” You assaulted every black women in this country – including my mother, my sisters, my girlfriend, and countless others. For that they are entitled to an apology as well. So until I hear your apology to them, I gladly offer a hardy F*** YOU!
Enjoy your Coon of the Month award. It was well deserved.