The Purge: What Would You Do?

So I had a chance to see The Purge last week. Without giving away too many spoilers (the trailer pretty much does that already), the movie takes places in a not-so-distant future 10 years from now. Both the unemployment and crime rates are down by record numbers. America, it appears, has never been more perfect. The catalyst for this seemingly utopian society is The Purge – an annual 12-hour period where all activities, including murder, are legal. This night is supposed to operate as a period of catharsis, allowing people to unleash all of their pent up anger and frustration; officially “purging” them of their desire to commit crime during the rest of the year.

I won’t give away too much more of the story. But I will say the movie – while having limitless potential on how good it could have been - was a bit of a failure for me. Revealing plotholes, cliched characters, a somewhat predictable ending, etc took away from an otherwise brilliant concept of a movie. I’ll let you watch the movie and decide for yourself what you think. The main point of this post is to present a “what if” scenario. What if  The Purge was real? What if the government sanctioned a period of time where no activities were off-limits? Could you see yourself committing an illegal activity? Robbery? Vandalism? Murder?

I was being a little tongue-in-cheek when I tweeted a list of my Purge “victims.” Now, before you call the cops on me, please know I was joking. Sheesh. Stop being so sensitive. But truth be told, the movie did do a good job of forcing me to think about what I would do if I was presented with a no-holds-barred situation like this. I’m quite confident I wouldn’t kill anybody. But I’m not sure I’d be the complete purist either. In the movie, some people opted not to participate and kept themselves locked up in their homes during the night. That might work for a while. But I suspect that over time, most of us would be seduced by the urge to participate in one way or another.

So, holler at me: do you think you’d do anything during The Purge? Relax folks. I’m pretty sure (not 100%, but close. Like, I dunno, 27% sure) that none of you responses will incriminate you. While it’s true that the feds are probably watching us right at this moment, it’s not like you’re actually doing it. No jury would convict you.

What say you?

- ACL

Feeding Facebook Foolishness

A few years ago, Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg won the prestigious “Person of the Year” award from Time magazine. It was well deserved, I must say. His creation redefined networking and allowed hundreds of millions of people around the globe to connect with one another at the click of a mouse. Good for him. But what Time failed to mention was that, despite Facebook’s monumental success at global interconnectivity, the site has also contributed to a collection of massively inflated egos, delusions of grandeur, and outright foolishness.

If you think I’m lying, take a look at how many people you have noticed online looking and acting like damn fools, but who somehow think it’s cute. How many times have you seen people involved in scandalous behavior with little to no regard for the ramifications of said behavior? But the thing is: I don’t blame them for their behavior. That would be like blaming a child for acting up at an amusement park. Instead, I blame the social networking apparatus and – in particular – that person’s “friends” for feeding the Monster of Facebook Fooolishness. While these folks parade around Facebook (and Twitter. Let’s not forget that) losing their damn minds, their friends are usually the ones contributing to that person’s outrageous shenanigans; most notably by offering a disingenuous “Amen Corner” of support and encouragement. Consider the following examples (relax people, this is all fictionalized):

Exhibit A:

User’s Facebook status: “HUN, IF YOU DON’T KEEP YOUR MAN SATISFIED, DON’T GET MAD IF I DO!”
Number of Likes: 24
Comment from Friend 1: “Gurl, you know you right about that!”
Comment from Friend 2: “LOL! you a fool. Love u girl! LMAO!”
Comment from Friend 3: “ROTFLOL!”
Comment from Friend 4: “SMH “

Andre’s Takeaway: No where in the comment section did you see somebody say “Um, yeah. I think it’s a bad idea to mess around with somebody else’s man. If you really like him and he really likes you, why not wait until they break up before you two get together? And for the love of God, don’t post that mess on Facebook, especially given that you’re friends with the girlfriend/wife.” The only semblance of critical disapproval came from one “Shake My Head” comment, which was quickly pacified by a smiley face.

Feeding the monster.

Exhibit B:

User’s Facebook picture caption: “‘Bout to head out to da club!!!”
Number of Likes: 34
Comment from Friend 1: “Lookin’ good, fam!”
Comment from Friend 2: “So beautiful!”
Comment from Friend 3: “Girl, your makeup is the fierce! What is that, Revlon?”
Comment from Friend 4: “Damn, girl! You all grown up. You got a man?”
Comment from Friend 5: “Lovin’ the eyebrows, girl!”
Comment from Friend 6: “Your grill is what’s up! Is that platinum?”

Andre’s Takeaway: Look, people. You know good and damn hell well this girl looks like the most gruesome of train wrecks. Ratchetness, squared. You suggesting anything to the contrary is another example of feeding the monster.

Exhibit C:

User’s Facebook status: “I okly (“only”, spelled incorrectly) fuccs around wit real nuccas. The rest of yall fake azz nuccas can eat a dicc. Dat include mah fake azz fam! Buy’n stamps frm me n not giv’n me luv. Kill yo’ sef!!!!!
Number of Likes: 27
Comment from Friend 1: “I hate dem bich a$$ fools mahself!”
Comment from Friend 2: “LOL! U crazy!”
Comment from Friend 3: “ROTFLOL!”
Comment from Friend 4: “I hate when that mess happ’n to me 2!”

Andre’s Takeaway: Instead of contributing to this buffoonery, this is a perfect time to remind your friend about the potential dangers of the internet. Not only has your friend just displayed the most tragic (and misspelled) form of ignorance, but by sharing information about the illegal sale of food stamps, your friend has basically admitted to committing a crime. Do you REALLY want to be tied up with that person?

Since I love you all and I’m pretty much the smartest person ever, please allow me to offer this public service announcement: STOP FEEDING THE MONSTER! The best friends are not always the ones who merely accept us where we are. Sometimes, the best friends are the ones who pull us aside and show us the error of our trifflin’ ways. If you really love your friend, family member, etc and you don’ want to see their tomfoolery showcased for the world to witness, you may have to intervene. You might have to call on your inner Sandman: grab the nearest shepherd’s hook you can find and graciously usher that person off the stage. Trust me, it’s for the best. Not only does it save them a world of hurt, but you’re free from being guilty of rachetness by association.

It’s a win-win.

- ACL

Friday Fun: Circle the Cat

If you have no intention of making this Friday productive, here’s a pretty addictive game for you to play. The object is simple: trap the cat with darker green circles (relax, PETA. No animals were harmed during game play). But it’s not as easy at looks.

Your intrepid hero did it:

Can you?

- ACL

Proud Shopping

So, I have something of a random thought mixed in with a confession: as old (and allegedly mature) as I am, I’m consistently embarrassed when I’m at the store and I have to buy toilet paper[1][2]. It’s even more embarrassing if I buy it in bulk, as if it’s some deeply concealed secret that I number 2.

So, one my new year’s resolutions will be to buy copious amounts of toilet paper with a boisterous spirit of dignity. So, if you ever run into me at the store and I’m loudly and boldly announcing my intentions to purchase that Charmin, extra soft that’s on sale, you’ll know why.

- ACL

[1] I guess the same can be said of condoms. From here on out, I’m done with the black overcoat and dark glasses get up. If anything, I should be given a medal for using condoms.

[2] OK, who am I kidding? I have to actually have sex first. Condoms don’t really get their fully-intended use when there’s only one side of the beast with two backs.