Bad relationships: The Andre and Eddie Editions

What’s up folks?

It’s been quite a week for me personally. I won’t go into all the details, but I’m single again. As it turns out, running the risk of publicly embarassing oneself by pouring out one’s heart out doesn’t work. In the end, I guess you can probably count on being kicked to the curb more than you can count on making a relationship work. Maybe my boy the Angry Independent – to my dismay – was more correct in his assessment of relationships than I was with mine. I’m just sorry I had to find out how wrong I was this way.

If you’re of the praying variety, please toss one or two up to God for me. This one may be a bit of a struggle for me. In fact, my love life in general is presenting itself as a living, breathing conflict.

But…moving on. Speaking of messed up relationships, if you thought the Eddie Long drama was over, think again:

There’s just no closure to this story, is there? And I thought I had relationship problems.

Anyway, after watching the clip above, I can glean a few things from the newest angle of this ongoing storyline:

(1) It’s pretty clear to me that this Centino Kemp dude and Fast Eddie have the same drug-influenced barber. Also, said barber should be dragged outside, tarred, and feathered. :-/

(2) Though it seems the media is bloodthirsty with their investigative reporting on the Eddie Long case, I believe them. And I believe the exchange between the two DID go down.

(3) This is what happens with figures of authority who are allowed to behave unchecked. A few months ago, friend and fellow pulpit pimp Crefalo Dollar defended Long from his accusations and took it a step further by addressing visitors from Long’s church pretty harshly. Likening Long’s problems to a “wreck”, Dollar spoke of hypocrisy and judging others, while at the same time conflating two important principles in our faith: forgiveness  AND accountability. Bishop Long (and I use the term ”Bishop” very loosely) didn’t just have a “wreck.” This wasn’t just some fender bender or hitting a bump in the road. Long, Dollar, and a sizable number of these pulpit pimps are guilty of the equivalent of a DUI; driving under the influence of power, ego, and a lack of accountability. Rather than accepting the accountability and responsibility that comes with being in their position, they quickly retreat to “Judge not, lest ye be judged” when they find themselves immersed in controversy. And then, when a person shifts gears from adamantly denying accusations in public to offering private settlements, forgiveness becomes a foreign concept. If you haven’t confessed your sins to those who deserve it, how can you truly expect their forgiveness?

(4) Finally, I feel for Long’s wife, in addition to the countless other casualities of their mate’s sordidness. I don’t know why she decided to be with Long; if it was out of true love, money, status, or whatever. The purpose of their union would likely impact the extent to which I sympathize with her. But being absent of that knowledge, I have to defer to the assumption she truly loves/loved him. In which case, she undeservedly had to endure the public embarassment from her husband’s indiscretions. I’ve been down that road – though obviously not on that scale. I can tell you, nothing is more hurtful than feeling betrayed and unwanted.

But candor dictating, I’m not shocked by anything anymore, particularly when it comes to the disfunction of human relationships. While it’s true I don’t carry the same cyncism inside me that I once did, I do realize the frailty of humans and what appears to be an inability to connect with one another on certain levels. There are undoubtedly success stories – and for a while I thought I had one – but they are too far and in between (especially with the people I know). Things just aren’t the way they were with our parents and grandparents.

OK, I’m gonna stop there. Before I lay down a series of blanketed statements and jaded views of the world, I’m going to belay those thoughts in favor of the belief that the world has NOT lost its mind and that positive relationships ARE attainable. For all the disappointing relationship I’ve had and – in no connection – for all the Eddie Longs of the world, all is not completely lost.

I’ve rambled enough. What say you?

- ACL