Just a Friend? Riiiight!

Man! It seems like an eternity since my last go ’round with this here blog. I’m not even sure where to begin. I’ve missed several key bloggable moments over the past few weeks which I could probably still discuss. But I think I’ll chalk this up as a loss and start fresh. This is one of the problems with taking a break, I suppose.

In my triumphant return to the blogosphere, this post won’t feature anything currently transpiring in the political world, though there’s plenty to talk about. I won’t be addressing any social issues. There won’t be any indictments of my cousins ‘nem to be found in the post. Nope. This post hits a little closer to home.

For starters, I’m happy to announce that – despite all the trash-talking I’ve done about relationships over the years –  the humble narrator of this blog is now in a relationship himself! *Tear* I’m currently dating a wonderful woman who is turning out to be everything I could have ever imagined, in spite of the fact that I all but acquiesced to the idea that I would never date again. Over the past few weeks however, I’ve been taken aback more than I had even been in my entire dating life up to this point. Now, I won’t go into too much detail with our relationship at the present moment, but I will say this particular post is motivated by an interesting conversation we had recently. Check it.

The other night we were discussing the notion of platonic relationships; specifically whether a platonic relationship could exist between us even if a romantic relationship failed (I should point out here, that we were not entertaining the possibility of a breakup. It was more like gauging our relationship at the present. At least, that’s what I gathered). It suprised me somewhat to discover that she doesn’t have even the slightest interest in having a platonic relationship with me. After all, we share many of the same interests, have personalities that fit almost too perfectly, and are virtually the same age. Why would she ever think we couldn’t be friends? But after having a chance to mull over it a bit, I’ve come to understand exactly what she meant.  

The facts are inescapable: if exposed to certain social and environmental conditioning, male and female relationships absolutely CAN NOT survive long enough to be classified platonic. At one point or another, one or both parties in said relationship will succumb to an inevitable attraction, be it sexual, emotional, spiritual or otherwise. Don’t argue with me. I know these things. Research is what I do. Consider the following:

1. Generally speaking, with an involved relationship including one man and one woman (where significant time is invested), at least one of them is looking for more than a friendship. What may appear on the surface to be a safe and banal relationship transcending physical desires is IN REALITY a relationship which will invariably lead to an ackward revelation; often commencing with the dreaded words “Why haven’t we ever dated?”  To believe anything else to the contrary suggests to me an alarmingly blind subscription to thinking which falls outside the purview of natural law. Simply put:  I’m correct on this one, the research has my back, and if you can’t see that, you’re hopelessly lost. Before, I was willing to capitulate to the idea that friends in certain social cirlces (i.e. at church, in school, at the office, etc.) could be an exception. I mean, I’ve made some great female friends in some of the aforementioned places myself. In fact, one of my best friends on the planet is female (what’s up Jos!). But could I spend every waking moment with them having no romantic interest AND have them reciprocate that feat at the same time? Very unlikely. Impossible, in fact.

2. Outside of perhaps me, no single person on the face of this Earth would ever voluntarily spend a significant portion of their life with a person of the opposite sex without an expectation of a graduated relationship. Of the 6.8 billion people currently taking up residency on this rock – many of whom are desperately single – who in their right mind would waste day after day, night after night with the same person without any rings and vows being exchanged? Women especially are just simply unable to gravitate towards a man who has zero interest in with her. This theory is tried and true. No woman wants to be in a long-term, time-consuming relationship where their feelings are unrequited. I dare you to argue with that.

There is only one circumstance that could blow my theory right out of the water. And that’s if both the man and woman in question are involved in relationships and still decided were allowed to maintain their platonic relationship. But let’s be honest here: how many people would be OK with their mate spending more time with a person of the opposite sex who was NOT them? Recall, a requirement of a platonic relationship is spend a sizable amount of time with another person. You show me a person who says they would freely allow their mate to spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite sex, and I’ll show you a person full of s**t. I was pleasantly suprised to hear my girlfriend tell me that she’d give me space if my boys and I were watching the game (mostly, because she doesn’t like football. But I won’t hold that against her). But I’d be out of my damn mind if I expected her to be so charitable if that same time was spent with another female or group of females.

Trust me when I say these observations are from personal experiences. I’m not making any of this up. Even my man Biz Markie’s with me to a large extent. That said, please mark my words: in twenty years or so, don’t be surprised to see a platonic couple on display. Most likely though, they’ll be in a gallery at Ripley’s Believe It Or Not.“

- ACL

A break in the action

Sorry for the hiatus, party people. Life’s been mad crazy this month. But I’ll be back in the blogging game in no time. I promise.

…and that right soon.

- ACL

Flint: Through the Fire

As if things could not get any worse in my hometown of Flint, Michigan, we have now become the 2010 version of the great city of Rome…in the worst way possible. Check it:

In the past two weeks, the city of Flint has seen the number of fires almost triple.

Since the city laid off firefighters two weeks ago, there have been 80 fires reported around the city.

Flint typically only averages 30 fires for a two week period. But for one Flint family, the magic number is 24. Twenty-four is the number of people who escaped from the fire at their house Friday.

The arson fire started at a house at Avenue A and East Taylor. It didn’t take long for it to spread to Mildred Lott’s home next door.

She says firefighters threw up their hands at the magnitude of what they’re facing. Lott is blaming the mayor.

Lott and her family are the innocent victims in what’s been going on in the city. They weren’t the target of an arsonist. But they are the ones suffering.

Lott, her husband and three of their children are in a hotel. They don’t know where they will live. They have no money to rebuild and they have a great question for Mayor Dayne Walling.

There were 25 fires just this weekend in the city, so the number of arsons is not going down.

Lott hopes the mayor puts firefighters back on the street before more innocent families get caught up in this. She also needs financial help to provide for her family.

As the number of vacant house fires grows, some have started to question whether the fires may actually be benefiting demolition and Genesee County Land Bank efforts in the city.

But the head of the bank says the fires are actually hampering their demolition plans for the city.

“I think a lot of folks were assuming that the properties that burned were Land Bank properties,” said Genesee County Land Bank Director Doug Weiland.

“But the numbers we looked at were just six out of 80.”

(via)

It was one thing when the fires were set in vacant areas, but now these deliberate acts of arson are starting to impact citizens. Coupled with the effect these fires are having on the city, there are the actively employed firefighters who have to be considered. In their profession, one of their worst possible enemies they could face is fatigue. Combatting fires is difficult in and of itself. But when a firefighter is dog tired from having to put in extra time accommodating for all the laid-off personnel, it’s a breeding ground for disaster.  Dangerous situations become that much more dangerous.

A petition to recall Flint mayor Dayne Walling has been circulating as a direct result of the recent police and firefighter layoffs in the city. In some respects, I can’t blame citizens. But at the same time – and in an effort to take some of the heat off the mayor – my question to the citizens is simple: what are you doing to help quell the problem?

Some of the dialogue I hear from protestors falls eerily in line with the same nonsense I hear within the assembly of Tea Partiers. The reverberating mantra: “We want stuff. But we don’t want to sacrifice anything.”

I understand that in a city with an unemployment rate of 16.4%, increasing taxes seems fiscally absurd. But I would much rather see my taxes and those of other taxpayers raised 2-3% for a few years as the city tries to climb out of its hole, especially if the alternative is watching our homes quite literally burn to the ground because of some misplaced belt-tightening. Instead of spending our time screaming about how we want less government and lower taxes, we need to open our eyes to the reality that the goods and services contributing to our safety and quality of life COST MONEY. This stuff ain’t free, sorry to say. But rhetoric in certain political circles has convinced us that taxes are of the devil and that government is the red-headed stepchild of corruption (true to a large extent, but its certainly a necessary evil). With appropriate oversight, the question of fiscal waste, corruption, and irresponsibility can be a pretty quick fix in my opinion.

The city of Flint has been an economic wasteland for years now. All indicators point to the idea that it will continue to suffer on a massive scale for the next several years. But instead of facing the situation with abject capitulation or armchair quarterbacking wrapped in some inactionable whining, I think it’s time for us to take a good look in the mirror, understand our role in adverting this crisis, and make sacrifices for the good of everyone.

After all, these are governments “…of the people”, right? Maybe we need to start acting like it.

- ACL

Badu’s Naked Truth

Unless you’ve been hanging out under rocks or have been spending your waking moment in the most bowel recesses of the Netherworld at Tea Parties, you’ve probably been exposed to singer Erykah Badu’s most recent joint, Window Seat (and by “exposed”, I mean that quite literally). In the video, Badu marches along now-tourist spot Dealey Plaza, stripping bare ass naked. Once she has removed all of her clothes, she dramatizes being ‘shot’ around the spot where President John F. Kennedy was killed close to 50 years ago.

I know. Weird, right?

For your viewing pleasure (or displeasure. I’ll let you decide), you can check out the edited version of the joint on her site. It’s been pulled from YouTube and most other places to view video clips online. So all we have left is her website. Knowing how sex sells these days and how controversy breeds attention, I can imagine how her website is blowing up right now. But that’s another issue.

After watching the video, I’ve concluded a few things:

(1) Weird s**t will always get a pass if it’s done by a “deep”, neo-soul type. From some reports I’ve read, some people on the streets made a fuss about it during the filming. But from the blogs I’ve been reading and the conversations I’ve been having with others, the fans have come out in droves mostly supporting her and trying to find the prophetic message behind…well, her behind. That’s just how we do. Academics are taught to look for meaning and art admist the controversy. Tree hugging, accoustic guitar playing, uber neo-liberal types are trained to find subtle messages deeply buried in abstract - and oftentimes controversial – “expressions.”  But I guarantee that if Britney Spears, Miley Cirus, or – yes, Beyonce – pulled this mess, it would have been the final nail in the coffin for their public image as overly sexual people. Public nakedness from sexualized personalities = vaccuous. Public nakedness from neo-soul types who wear headwraps and African attire = deep.

I’ve always found Erykah Badu’s “deepness” packaged and litered with cliche, but I won’t go into that too much more. I have a bad enough reputation as it is with my response to my cousins ‘nem. If I start slinging insults at “Beautiful, Black, Mother of the Earth” types, I won’t live past the first act. In fact, even typing this is causing me to look around at the sistahs with a little bit of caution.

(2) At the risk of sounding extremely sexist (my disclaimer), Erykah Badu is STACKED! I unapologetically point out that when it comes to admiration of the female anatomy, I’ve always been a leg man. But is Erykah working that bottom or what? I think I would seriously consider developing a close, intimate, hands-on relationship with her bottom. She can keep the rest of herself. Kinda reminds me of the scene from I’m Gonna Git You Sucka. Just leave me the romp. You can take everything else with you:

For me, this is where things get challenging. In many respects, I think the modern day feminist movement is full of crap. But there are certain aspects of sexism and misogyny about which I try to stay pretty conscious. Objectification of women is one such aspect. So, I’m stuck in a place where I sincerely appreciate Badu’s assets but don’t wish to convey any sexist sentiments. Thanks for putting me in this bind, EB.

(3) Finally, I think EB made this video simply because, well, she can. She has been afforded a luxury only offered to a select few in our culture. She has complete and free reign with what she does with her life. In some ways, it’s refreshing. In other ways, not so much. She was able to take her free-spirited, “Screw being civil” approach all the way to the top of the success ladder. But as much as the average person may adore that about her, we should also remember that her free spirit earned her a life of wealth, fame, and prestige. That same life of wealth, fame, and prestige continues to shield her today. Only a person in her position could do a video in public as naked as the day they were born and still have millions of devoted followers worldwide. Meanwhile, if you or I pulled that same stunt, we’d most assuredly be arrested for indecent exposure, probably fired from our job, and would be scratching out a living somewhere on the street. OK, perhaps that’s a bit of a stretch. But my ultimate main point remains: affluence allows a person to be much more of a social non-confirmist without having their quality of life negatively impacted as a consequence.

So those are my thoughts. Any you’d like to share? The floor is yours.

- ACL